Finished...but never quite done.

Songs are never quite done. Even if they have been "finished." I re-write songs all the time. Which reminds me of something Travis-O told our worship team not too long ago--that we are like God's poems that He is finishing and still re-writing. We are redeemed, yes, by Christ's act on the cross; but we are constantly being refined by the work of the Holy Spirit in us. Just like Paul tells us: "He who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus" (Philippians 1:6). Well maybe I am not as faithful as He is--maybe I won't complete all the songs I start. And maybe I can't really compare my song to a human being constantly worked in and refined...

But, it made me think about how my own songs are finished...but never quite done.

I am glad God doesn't look at me and go, "Welp, that's it--Done!" It's nice to know that one of the places He still moves in today is even in me... It's incredible to think that He carries it on to completion... all the way until the day of Christ Jesus.

Most of that was to say...

...yeah, I finished my song on Friday night...but I'm still working on it ;). Who knows if it will ever be "complete."

Yup

Yup. I did. I finished the song I'm writing.

"Promises of Love"
Read Psalm 27:13-14 and you'll get the heart and thought behind it.

Other than that...
wanna hear about my day? (if not, stop reading here... *)

My day...insane...

Here's the run-down if you're interested:

5:50am, drove to Walmart for a light saber (best purchase of the week--bothering people all day with it--LOVED it).
6:30am, parked outside the school gym--studied for my Intro to Bio test.
6:50am, went inside the school gym--lights, tuned, and plugged in for sound check.
7:00am, sound check...
8:00am, Intro to Bio test.
9:00am, prep for Cultural Anthropology presentation.
10:00am, chapel...
11:30am, Cultural Anthropology presentation (light saber time...)
12:30am, lunch with Wendy. so great. :)
1:30pm, planned on ditching Life and Letters of Paul class...
1:50pm, Wendy made me go to Life and Letters of Paul class...
2:00pm, stabbed myself in the eye because I CAN'T STAND Life and Letters of Paul class (ok, not really...but I imagined it)
2:10pm, wrote Kate Agudo a note in LLP class--it was about how I wanted to finish my song tonight. (check)
2:30pm, Kate and I were forced to participate in Life/Letters of Paul class!!
2:50pm, freedom...
3:00pm, Intro to Political Science class .....Elections. 'Nuff said.
3:45pm, let out of Pol Sci early! (not even cause I set the clock forward five minutes either)
4:00pm, Yaks Happy Hour baby!
4:05("four-fo-five")pm, FOO FOO FRIDAYS!!! (du-nu-nu-nu, nu-nu-nu-nu, nu-nu-nuh!)
4:25...ish pm, Hannah, Sarah, Emily, and Kate, laughing at me and my light saber. I have no idea why. I think they were jealous.
5:00pm, stuff happened...
6:05pm, dinner with Wendy--double great. :)
7:30pm, volleyball game... "S-U!" (which always sounds like "F-U!")
8:30pm, back to my song...
10:30pm, song--pretty much finished.
11:05pm, "Yup"

Yup. Done.

Now(11:09pm), it's bed time.

I'munna

I'munna finish the song I'm writing soon.

Got more lyrics for it today.
I can feel it...

A Little Bit of Everything

I'm a little hyper. And a little tired...
I'm a little stressed out. And a little bit relaxed...
I'm a little sad. And a little happy...

I'm a little bit confused. But also pretty certain of the things that matter most...
...like love, and peace, and God's faithfulness.

He has never left me--though I have been devastated by the thought many times. Jesus is still alive--though I was not there to see Him in the flesh so long ago. "Blessed are those who have not seen and yet have believed" (John 20:29) (Oh, but I would have been the Doubting Thomas in that story).

And then there's Peter, who encourages us in such crazy times...
"These have come so that your faith—of greater worth than gold, which perishes even though refined by fire—may be proved genuine and may result in praise, glory and honor when Jesus Christ is revealed. Though you have not seen him, you love him; and even though you do not see him now, you believe in him and are filled with an inexpressible and glorious joy" (1 Peter 1:7-8).

When I have a little bit of everything going on in this racing mind of mine, it's nice to remember that I love Jesus--that I believe in Him--that my faith results in praise, and that I am filled with (a whole lot more than a little bit of) inexpressible and glorious joy.

Yeah. I'm a little bit confused...

But I'm also very grateful.

Up and At 'em!

Yep. That's right! I am up and at 'em again (those many tasks and daily routines of mine). And I have to say.... I miss my bed!!!! :(

Haha... not really. (I always wanted to say something like that though). 

In all sincerity, it's great to be alive. It's great to greet the day. It's awesome to jump down from the top bunk in the morning and think, "Yes, His mercies are new every morning... but this morning, I am blessed to feel it!" We don't alway need to feel it to know it. But it helps a little when we get to experience that "there may be pain in the night, but joy comes in the morning" 

Sometimes the night is a literal 12-hour night. Sometimes it is three-days in bed. Sometimes it is longer...

But joy does come in the morning. 

...And it is a beautiful morning.

Bed-ridden

It's disappointing. I want to slam my head against the desk right now... but something tells me that won't fix the aching. Being bed-ridden for me is like being in Hawaii without my guitar for two weeks--people say how good it is to get the rest, but I can't even do the things I love most. I'm not a huge fan of beds like some are. I DO like Hawaii...but that's beside the point.

Couldn't I take a mental break instead? The physical ones don't mean much to me without the mental ones...

I have these dreams...

Sometimes I have these dreams...
They're not super crazy, or too lofty... but they are a bit idealistic.... and I wonder if they could ever really happen.

They're usually about the world--about social justice issues, about international relations, about advocating for the voiceless, about freedom for the oppressed...

I'm writing a political science paper right now. I love that class. I love that even when I don't want to go (I have it at 3 in the afternoon, and I'm not a huge fan of afternoons) I end up getting our whole class into a discussion about welfare, or communism, or ideological motives and our Machiavellian tendencies by the end of the period. I always think it's gonna be so boring... It's usually not.

In fact, the best part about it:
I get to think about my dreams. I get to wrestle through them.
Sometimes I wonder if that shouldn't be the whole point to education in the first place... to wrestle through your dreams... To figure out how reality meets your visions...how your visions could become reality... It would be cool if these dreams became reality.

But I don't want my dreams to be my dreams. I only want my dreams if they are also God's. I think we did a series at the Stirring about that a while ago--"When God Dreams" or something like that. Well, I'm convinced that His dreams have a lot to do with "freedom for the prisoners," as Isaiah and Jesus both proclaimed. And it seems like a lot of my dreams have to do with the same thing.

So. Every Monday, Wednesday, Friday I've been thinking about those dreams. I've been thinking about them ideally... and I've been thinking about them realistically...
They have a lot to do with politics--more than I ever thought any dreams of mine would. And they have a lot to do with other countries--more than I ever thought I would let them... (sometimes MKs have bitter, rebellious streaks ;)

But most importantly, they have a lot to do with speaking up for those who cannot speak up for themselves--with standing up for those who have constantly been crushed. I want to be a voice for the voiceless. And I want to usher in God's dream of healing for the broken. I don't know if I'll ever see a whole country reach restoration after political devestation... or if we'll ever get all the prostitutes out of the brothels...out of the system...out of their prisons...
I don't know if I'll still be alive when Cambodian fathers begin teaching their sons to care for their families again...or if I'll ever watch American women demonstrate to each other what real beauty is or where it comes from. I don't know if I'll ever be the kind of advocate OR influence in the political and social spheres that I've had thoughts about.

I do know God's Kingdom is coming, though, and that Jesus tells us to pray for it. I know that I've seen parts of it here and there...and that even the smallest of healings is healing nonetheless...

Sometimes I have these dreams...
They're not super crazy, or too lofty.

In fact, I think they could be pretty darn realistic...

...depending on how you look at it.