They're going to get "cultured"

My sisters are going to Europe today. One called me at 7 this morning, probably thinking, "Jenna will definitely be awake..."
I wasn't. I didn't have to be at church until 10 this morning, and I'm semi-depressed that some of my friends aren't here anymore, so my body must've thought sleeping later this morning would be a good idea...

But at 7, Joanna called me:

"Helloooo?" I mumbled, trying a higher pitch than normal (to get my voice above the raspy-ness...)

"Oh my gosh, did I WAKE YOU UP???"

"Maaaaybe... but it's ok... you're leaving today right?"

"JENNA! I'm so sorry... I didn't think you'd be asleep still!! We thought for sure--"

"Jo, it's ok, really. I'm glad you called. I was wondering when you'd be taking off."

"Well, I'm sorry anyway... You sound tired... or dead..." (Don't worry--I was tired.)

So I sat up, grasping at any of the energy coming to me...

"Hey! You're going to Europe!!!" --THERE it was-- "Have fun! But how the heck am I supposed to talk to you when you're in Europe?!!"

"Email! Email me, ok? And I'll miss you. And I love you. Ok... now mom wants to talk to you..."

...And so, the phone went around. Jo, then my mom, then Janelle, then back to Jo again (it was her phone afterall).

Mom said she that loves me. She'll miss me. She'll buy me something. The usual...
I told her I love her too, that I'll miss her, and that I don't care what she gets me from Europe... but when she gets back, I might want her to mail me a couple things I left during my last visit home...
Don't worry, I told her I love her again after that. And that I'll pay for postage.

Then Janelle told me she was going to "get cultured." I thought for a minute how funny that sounds and was going to make a joke about her maybe having strep throat... but decided there was no time for nonsenses. I told her I think she's going to make a great European tourist, and that when I email them, she doesn't have to email me back. She'll be emailing her boyfriend and other friends, I'm sure, so I said that I would just update her on stupid things about my life and she could type a one word response if she wants--something like "word" or "cool."

Janelle's a sweet girl, so she said I was dumb and that of course she'll email me back.. "at least three words..."

Three words from my sister in Europe sounds more than wonderful to me... I told her I'd take it!

The phone went back to Jo, and she said, "Sorry I woke you up, Jenna..."
I told her it was fine...again.
I said, "I'm glad you called..." [we repeat stuff in my family]

I suddenly remembered something--

"Oh and Shmo..." ("Shmo" is short for "Jo Shmo"...which isn't short for anything... just a funny thing to call her)

"Yeah?"

"That mix you made me is awesome! My friends love it--especially the first song. I made mixes for them and gave them a bunch of your songs."

"Aw! That's so cool, Jenna! I mean... I am cool... so, yeah, duh... that's fine I guess... Haha."

"Ok, have fun in Europe. Keep mom and Janelle safe."

"I will cause I'm SOOO buff..... Thanks Jenna, I'll call you when we get back."

"Ok. I love you..."

"...love you.."

"Bye."

"Bye."


And they're probably halfway there by now.

I DO hope Janelle emails at least three words... And I hope my mom doesn't stress over what to get me from Europe... but pays attention to their maps and hotel plans and Sound of Music tour arrangements...
I hope Janelle gets "cultured" with "teas, and music, and mountains, and vespas" like she imagines... I hope Joanna is as buff as she thinks she is (or, that God keeps them safe...)

And I AM glad she called me at 7 this morning. I love that they get a European adventure.

I'm going to set my alarm on July 28th... and drink a lot of coffee while I wait to talk with them again.

I give it a "Better and Better"

Well... my birthday is happening again this year. I don't have much to say about it, except that 23 is going to be a GREAT age. I think I say that about every age, every year... I think every year it's true. No matter what seems to be going on in my life, I'm firmly convinced of something that my mentor Emily told me once. "Remember Jenna, life just keeps getting better and better," she said. I think that's true.

I think that life does keep getting better and better... through all its shifts, and seasons, and changes... because I believe that I keep getting better and better. Of course, I'm not measuring this on a imperfect<-->perfect scale... if I did that, it would constantly be succeeding and failing, up to about 23 times a day, and I would be moving backwards and forwards all the time. So I could tend to see no point in trying then. I could tend to see life as always, actually, getting worse in that respect. "Let the pieces lay where they fall!" I would shout in that case (hands thrown up into the air with despair plastered across my face).

Rather, I believe that life keeps getting better and better--that I keep getting better and better--because I believe that on a not-much-history-with-God<-->more-history-with-God scale, He is always increasing my portion of life...

I am always getting more life with God. Perfect or not, clearly improving or messy and lying melted to the floor, I have more history with God today than I did yesterday... and my life contains within itself more of Him than it ever has before...
and that, my friends, warrants a "better and better" in my book...

Because more history with God... now THAT is what I cannot lose with age or failures in worldly perfection... I cannot lose that through tragedy or poverty or illness or regression... I cannot lose that when things are taken from me, or when I have lost what used to make me comfortable or what I thought was supposed to get me through life... I cannot lose that by being unsuccessful. I cannot lose that by being ugly. I cannot lose my history with God in time. And I cannot lose it in life...

And that is what my life is all about... it is about getting better and better by getting more and more full of--shaped by, guided by, known by, given by, grown by, forgiven by and encouraged by--this history with God...

...and that is what makes me glad for my birthday.
...I'm glad I was born to have a history with God.


So here's to year 23~

Life just keeps getting better and better!

(...no matter what.)

And then there's my sister Jo...

...who is the coolest person I've ever met. She's sixteen. She plays basketball, water-polo, the drums; drives my Jeep when I'm home; is in "advanced" drama class and on the swim team. She and her best friend, Kelci, made a video for English class--"Lord of the Flies." I watched it. I almost peed my pants. That's enough for now.

We shared a bathroom.

My sister Janelle is graduating from high school today. We were just in my car two hours ago, and I was pouring out my heart to this young woman who, fourteen years ago, would have only been hearing, "there was a little girl, who had a little curl, right in the middle of her forehead, and when she was bad she was very very bad, but when she was good... she wasn't much better..." (I know--that's not how the rhyme really goes. And, I know--I was awful to her). But now, her ears were taking in my angst and musings. She is so grown up. I couldn't believe that the girl sitting in my passenger seat was the same girl that used to demand her "big-girl make-up case" come with her in her car-seat. Now, she only demanded I understand that I have impacted her.

You never think you impact your sisters. You just think you live with them most your life, and then figure out you really have enjoyed doing so. But I guess it makes sense that you could impact each other--you see almost everything, and you hear almost everything, and what you can't see or hear, you have in intuition and insight built upon shared contexts and experiences. Janelle and I shared a bathroom, so our list might be even bigger.

We used to get ready for our days together... for school, for work, for coffee shops and secret dates. In all of our "preparing-for-the-world-outside," I guess she had admired a couple things about the way I always prepared. I guess I impacted her. And after talking to her today, I realized how much she's impacted me.

I've always known how beautiful she is--I've always known how gentle and kind and genuinely caring she is. I've always known how God is her God, and how I would be astounded by His work in and through her. I just didn't know how much I would need all of that around me. I didn't know how much I would need to be impacted by her... then and now... fourteen years ago, two hours ago, and in all our shared time between.

Now she is going to impact the rest of the world. She is going to show it what beautiful means. She is going to show it how God adorns and lavishes beauty upon His already-beautiful creations, just because He wants to... just to celebrate. She is going to decorate His beauty, just because He's asked her to join Him in His delight. She is going to make others feel just as beautiful as she is... because that is Janelle--the girl from the car-seat, the young woman from the passenger seat--decorated by God and determined to help others know that they, too, are beautiful like her.

Janelle has applied to Milan Institute in Fresno. She moves down there and begins her cosmetology classes in August... When she graduates tonight from the same high school that I went to, it might hit me again how much of our lives we have shared, and therefore, how much we really have impacted each other. But right now, I'm just so glad we prayed for each other two hours ago. Whether it's true that I showed her something about preparing for the world or not, I know that my sister has shown me (scribbled on post-its, stuck to the bathroom mirror) to "trust in the Lord with ALL your heart, leaning not on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge Him, and He will direct your paths" (Proverbs 3:5-6).
That's her favorite verse...

You never think your favorite verse impacts your sisters. You just think you have a favorite, and they know you like it a lot, and you may get it scribbled in cards or on post-its (to stick to your bathroom mirror). But I guess it makes sense that my sister's favorite verse is exactly what I needed to hear. And it's exactly what I've seen displayed in her life--even two hours ago--even as she, also, prepares for "the world outside."

"Because He is a God of the impossible."

Other than a unique season of life or an extra intense... uh... tummy-ache time... there are about two things that make me cry. And I can pinpoint them every time they happen:

1) When I am missing someone or feeling a profound sense of loss and
2) When I am deeply inspired or moved by a story... then, it is all moved up and out my eyes.

So when I felt the inspiration trickling out my right eye yesterday, it didn't surprise me very much. Nathan's grandpa had stopped by our office during staff meeting, and I witnessed one of the most inspiring things I've seen in a while...

I wish I could paint or draw sometimes, because I would have painted what will now have to just remain in my mind's eye. I would have painted Nate kneeling by his grandpa's chair as this wise pillar of faith told stories about the wonders and power of God constantly displayed in his life. I suppose I could try to retell some of them, but it would do justice to neither the moment nor the stories. If I could paint, I would have painted a grandson, wide-eyed and smiling, so gratefully and respectfully gleaning whatever he could from this wise old man. Instead, I'll only try to paint with words what I saw when I saw Nate kneeling by his grandpa...

I saw a generational story... I saw a story of faith--both God's and the family's... and a story of heritage--a heritage of following God wherever He goes and of seeing His way with vision and humble service. I saw a Moses story, passed down from grandfather to father to son... and I saw different contexts, different times, different styles even... but the same heart.

Because Nathan and his grandpa have the same heart. They have different hair-cuts, but they have the same heart.

It is a heart that seeks. It is a heart that listens. It is a heart that serves and desires and pursues the God of the impossible as He has searched the earth and found the Edwardson men. It is an invaluable inheritance... this heart that has found its way into the Redding community after traveling the world. And it is an inspiring story... this story of God-dreamers who have continually witnessed God's miracles and provisions in what seemed to be impossible circumstances.

I saw Nate reach his hand up to his grandpa's shoulder, and I listened as he prayed for a blessing over the man who had undoubtedly been praying for blessings over Nathan even before he was born. I was moved by this thought. I was moved by the whole thing. So yesterday, I knew that I, too, had to glean whatever I could from this moment. Because how many times do you see pictures of such legendary generational stories right in front of your eyes?

...Especially now-a-days... among a generation that has forgotten about heritage--that has been turned off to honor and the stories of God's movement.

That's one of the things Nate's grandpa said yesterday that I wrote down: "You have a unique church," he told us, "unique enough that it is just the one for Redding--for anywhere in America right now, really... because, you know, there are plenty of churches easily accessible enough for the elderly and the middle-aged, but the generation that is needing to be reached so badly right now is the one that's been turned off to God... and they need to be turned back on again..."

And then he said this: "Bible says, 'Ask largely that your joy might be full'... and if you're hamburger people, you can live on 'em. So keep asking God... Because He is a God of the impossible."

Then Nate leaned over to me and said, "Write that down." And I nodded, already mid-quote...

It was great having Nathan's grandpa at staff meeting yesterday. It put some things into a good perspective. And put some extra inspiration into me.

Oh yeah, and another thing he said that I'd say is worth noting:

"Remember--'The same Spirit that raised Jesus from the dead, will quicken your bodies...' Boy! That's a great truth!"

...Yes...Yes, it really is.

Nate says that his grandpa always says, "The secret of man is his source."

Yesterday, I think we as the Stirring staff got to know a little more about grandpa's source...

...And He is "a God of the impossible."

Nathan's grandpa

Nathan's grandpa came to staff meeting today. He's an amazing man of God, and I can see where Nate gets his passion and heart for God's work from.

I haven't blogged in over a week. And this isn't going to count as a real post...

...I just wanted to say that I think Nathan's grandpa is awesome and that my next blog is going to have some of the things he said today in it. I wrote them down.


That'll probably happen tomorrow.


Peace ya'll.