Once she thought she was asleep. But God told me to tell her that she was just waking up...
Once she thought she was a failure... but He wanted her to know that His love never fails.
Once she thought she had nothing to offer; but her Lord speaks differently about her--so she's learning to let what He says be true...
She's not just sleep-walking, forgetting, and merely existing as the backdrop to someone else's story of "making an impact" and legacy-leaving... NO...
She is sleep-WAKING, remembering, and stepping onto the scene of this grand play that God has been making her life into all along. She IS the "impacter" and legacy-leaver. But it's hard for her to watch her own story AND be in it at the same time...
So, sometimes, I have to remind Aubrey that these last twenty years are more beautiful than she can see. And that the next twenty years are a kind of beautiful that only God can see for now... In fact, they are a kind of "beautiful" all their own--because they belong only to God as ONLY He can see them. He is giving her HOPE because He sees the life they hold. He is giving her COURAGE because He sees how big they are. He is giving her FAITH because He sees how she will grow. He is giving her DREAMS because He sees how her heart is just like His...
And that describes my friend named Aubrey well--a daughter with a heart just like her Father's.
So these coming years may have moments where, to her, they seem mundane or scary or digressing or... impossible...
But I know that, to Him, they will always be incredibly more than they seem... incredibly more full of possibilities than she knows.
And, to me, these coming years in her life will always be HIS...
Because, no matter what, she has always been His. No matter what... these coming years are already so very BEAUTIFUL. Because, like her past and her present, He already sees them as so very beautiful.
I happen to agree with His point of view about this particular story--about this particular story of this particular friend of mine.
Because, from what I know, God's opinion is a very good thing to trust.
And Because, twenty years ago, God's opinion saw my friend Aubrey as a very good thing for the world...
And yeah... I happen to agree with that.
Happy Birthday, Aubrey. He is making you a mountain.
1 comments:
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I'm glad I can type this right now because I'm much more eloquent when tears aren't running down my face...
Man, Jenna. I don't even know what to say..."thanks" is not close to enough, but I'll start with that I guess...
I want to believe it. I hope I'm beginning to...thank you for helping me get there.
Jesus, I thank you so much for Jenna Louise Barney and the beautiful person she is inside and out. I thank you for her prayers for me and I thank you for the many people she touches with her big heart whether she can see it or not. I thank you for using her in such big ways, whether through her powerful singing voice or her gentle, caring voice. I thank you that you've allowed her to see how much you care for her and love her and hold her. I pray that never leaves her; I pray she will hold onto that and love you with everything she has. I thank you again for allowing her to be a part of my life and to be a big part of my "few". I love you, Lord, and I ask that you help us sharpen each other throughout our walks here on earth. I pray that we can be living examples of your love, grace, and mercy. Amen.
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