My sister Janelle is graduating from high school today. We were just in my car two hours ago, and I was pouring out my heart to this young woman who, fourteen years ago, would have only been hearing, "there was a little girl, who had a little curl, right in the middle of her forehead, and when she was bad she was very very bad, but when she was good... she wasn't much better..." (I know--that's not how the rhyme really goes. And, I know--I was awful to her). But now, her ears were taking in my angst and musings. She is so grown up. I couldn't believe that the girl sitting in my passenger seat was the same girl that used to demand her "big-girl make-up case" come with her in her car-seat. Now, she only demanded I understand that I have impacted her.
You never think you impact your sisters. You just think you live with them most your life, and then figure out you really have enjoyed doing so. But I guess it makes sense that you could impact each other--you see almost everything, and you hear almost everything, and what you can't see or hear, you have in intuition and insight built upon shared contexts and experiences. Janelle and I shared a bathroom, so our list might be even bigger.
We used to get ready for our days together... for school, for work, for coffee shops and secret dates. In all of our "preparing-for-the-world-outside," I guess she had admired a couple things about the way I always prepared. I guess I impacted her. And after talking to her today, I realized how much she's impacted me.
I've always known how beautiful she is--I've always known how gentle and kind and genuinely caring she is. I've always known how God is her God, and how I would be astounded by His work in and through her. I just didn't know how much I would need all of that around me. I didn't know how much I would need to be impacted by her... then and now... fourteen years ago, two hours ago, and in all our shared time between.
Now she is going to impact the rest of the world. She is going to show it what beautiful means. She is going to show it how God adorns and lavishes beauty upon His already-beautiful creations, just because He wants to... just to celebrate. She is going to decorate His beauty, just because He's asked her to join Him in His delight. She is going to make others feel just as beautiful as she is... because that is Janelle--the girl from the car-seat, the young woman from the passenger seat--decorated by God and determined to help others know that they, too, are beautiful like her.
Janelle has applied to Milan Institute in Fresno. She moves down there and begins her cosmetology classes in August... When she graduates tonight from the same high school that I went to, it might hit me again how much of our lives we have shared, and therefore, how much we really have impacted each other. But right now, I'm just so glad we prayed for each other two hours ago. Whether it's true that I showed her something about preparing for the world or not, I know that my sister has shown me (scribbled on post-its, stuck to the bathroom mirror) to "trust in the Lord with ALL your heart, leaning not on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge Him, and He will direct your paths" (Proverbs 3:5-6).
That's her favorite verse...
You never think your favorite verse impacts your sisters. You just think you have a favorite, and they know you like it a lot, and you may get it scribbled in cards or on post-its (to stick to your bathroom mirror). But I guess it makes sense that my sister's favorite verse is exactly what I needed to hear. And it's exactly what I've seen displayed in her life--even two hours ago--even as she, also, prepares for "the world outside."
1 comments:
GAH. I love you two. :(
I love the way you write Jenna. You are both two beautiful women and I am very grateful to have met you both and been able to love you like I do.
And that picture at the bottom of your blog just about sums it up. :)
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