BBQs, Baptisms, and the Kingdom of Heaven...

Our church family amazes me more and more as the weeks pass. The leadership inspires me, the servanthood humbles me, the generosity awes me, the courage convicts me... I am honored to be part of such a dedicated, passionate group of Jesus followers. We had our bbq baptism last night at the Hayes' house. I watched as even more followers symbolically declared that their hearts and lives are for His Kingdom. I spoke with three amazing young women afterwards, and we agreed that talking about Jesus beats many other convo-topics, by far. We were encouraged by seeing our older brothers anoint the younger ones... and we are excited about our generation's call. It's incredible to be a part of this stuff...

When I think about times like that, I see that God is doing so much. But we don't always need those signs to know that He is working... Jesus says that an "evil and adulterous generation craves for a sign; and yet no sign will be given to it but the sign of Jonah the prophet..." He goes on to say that Nineveh didn't have Jesus come to them--they had Jonah, and still they believed more than the generation that craves signs. He says that the Queen of the South "came from the ends of the earth to hear the wisdom of Solomon; and behold, something greater than Solomon is here." That queen didn't have Jesus come to her--but she had the idea that Solomon was onto something. The generation that craves for signs has the "something greater" than even Solomon's wisdom... but they turn to the cravings rather than the Lord in their midst. I'll be honest, that part of the story scares me! ...I want to turn to the Lord...

But Jesus continues (He usually does...), and He gives His disciples hope when they ask Him how anyone is supposed to understand all this crazy stuff He's saying! Jesus turns to them and says...

"To you it has been granted to know the mysteries of the kingdom of heaven, but to them it has not... But blessed are your eyes, because they see; and your ears, because they hear. For truly I say to you that many prophets and righteous men desired to see what you see, and did not see it and to hear what you hear, and did not hear it" (Matt.13:11, 16-17).

...I want us to be the disciples that turn to the Lord... the ones that He then turns and says that to...

When I watch baptisms and church gatherings and encouraging moments with our incredible church family--when I think about times like that--I try to remember that visuals are wonderful, but we do not always need the signs. I try to remember that JESUS is in our midst, and that it is He Who even grants us the eyes to see and the ears to hear these mysteries of His Kingdom.

He knows my name.

I never cared that my name meant "little bird" before. If anything, I was embarrassed by it. Most of my friends have really cool meanings for their names, and some of my friends hate birds. Either way, I always claimed the "spiritual meaning" that would pop up on the more obscure websites... the websites on the 17th page of the Google findings...

Bethany Dillon once asked me what my name meant, and I was too embarrassed to tell her the "little bird" part. She seemed to like my name, and I didn't want her to change her mind... I told her "I think it means something like, 'The Lord is gracious'..." (which is true! One of the 17th-pagers said so). She smiled and said that she liked it. Sweet. I was right.
I think I smiled back... or I peed my pants... I can't remember...

Anyway, after a couple more years of similar stories (ones with me claiming the "spiritual meanings," not ones with Bethany Dillon), I began finding an actual appreciation of the "little bird" meaning... I started seeing pictures of birds everywhere, and they were a lot prettier than I remember (or at least a lot less scary...fewer crows). There were a lot that showed birds being released from cages, free to fly in the open air once more. Some of them showed birds simply resting on branches, singing what I imagined to be the most pleasant of songs (...they weren't steller-jays...or else I probably would have imagined fire alarms). They were "little" birds, and I started to like seeing them around. Four women from Bethel came up to me at the Sundial bridge one day and gave me a picture of a sunrise they had drawn for me... It had birds flying in it. "The Lord's favor is so heavy on you.. and you are going to be like these birds soon... flying so high and free in the sunrise." I contemplated telling them my name and what it meant, but I didn't. All I said back was, "Thank you. I really do hope so..."

They didn't know my name...
but God did.

I flirted with the idea of someday just coming out and saying to my friends that hate birds, "My name means 'little bird'!"--and to my friends with really cool name-meanings, "Well my name means 'little bird'..." And this idea became a million times more attractive when someone finally said to me, "You know you're name also means 'white wave'?"

Ok. So "Little bird" it is...

It's been a few months since that initial acceptance... I haven't thought about it at all since then.
But on Friday, my iPod's "shuffle" settings did it yet again...


FLY by Jason Upton

Going out to new atmospheres
Going out to new places
Going out to new atmospheres

You gotta to have new ears,
Gotta have new ears to hear...
Heavenly places, heavenly, heavenly places...
New revelation.

What are doing? (singing to lost soul)
Where are you going? (singing to lost soul)
God is going to give you wings...

Some of you have been fighting for a very long time
Some of you have been fighting that ground warfare for a very
long time...

Sticking out your fists and fighting...
God wants to take you to new places,
New revelation,
New perspective,
An arial view...

I declare over you, God has given you the air...

So fly, it's time to open up your wings,
to shake off the things that hold you down,
It's time to spread out your wings and fly.

Do you see what I see?
Do you hear what I hear?
Do you know what I know?
Do you want what I want?
I want you to fly

Fly...

(from God)
I have given you wings
I have set you free from the things that held you
I have given you wings
I have set you free, so come to me and
Fly...

Like a bird in the air, you have escaped the snare
Like a bird in the air, you have escaped the snare
Like a bird in the air, you have escaped the snare of the enemy

You have been set free
You have been set free

Nothing, nothing, nothing, no nothing could ever hold you.
Nothing can stop you now-
because you are....
Free.

Fly.

I'll admit, I started to cry on the treadmill. I'm glad no one was around to ask if I tore something. But if they had... I would have told them, "Guess it just kinda hit me that God knows my name..."

I happen to care now that my name means "little bird," because God always has. And He is remaining faithful to the promises that He's apparently had in mind since before I was born...



What does your name mean? He knows your name, too!

The Land of "Why?"

On Sunday, Dan spoke about how God has chosen you to be an instrument for a specific purpose--how God redeems your story, and how your story makes you the perfect one for a certain job. I've never thought I was perfect for anything. I've just always thought I'll "do."

I did always want to be perfect. But I've never thought I made it there. That's no surprise... I was wanting the wrong thing anyway...

I've asked "Why?" to God a lot. And I always have regrets and wishes. There are things I've done that I don't understand... and things I never did that I hoped wouldn't haunt me later. But they do... I am haunted by my mistakes sometimes.

Dan continued talking. He talked about the land of "Why?" He said, "We all live in the land of 'Why?'...but God's redeeming all things, He's making all things new! God wants to change those parts of you that are so broken, that you think are beyond repair, that you thought could never be different, and He wants to use your testimony--the hardest, darkest, most painful places of it--to minister to others and help someone who may be going through something similar." He said, "You have a story that makes you effective in certain situations...and you will just connect with certain people because of it." And then he asked us, "Do you ever have those moments when you see a situation and realize, 'I am the chosen instrument for this moment' ?"

...It was this part of the message that made me lean forward in my chair a little more...

"Now, I want you to hear this," Dan continued, "Because this is what God has been speaking so clearly to me."
What? What is it??
There are some things that just get my full attention.

"When God calls me to something sometimes, I have those 'Yeah, buts', ya know? It's like, 'Yeah, but God, I'm a [fill in the blank]' It could be, 'But, God, I'm a coward' or 'God, I'm not eloquent in this' or 'God, I'm still broken' or 'But, there's that other thing...' or 'Yeah, but God, I'm such a mess...' We all have those 'Yeah, buts'... But then GOD answers and says, 'Perfect. I can still use you.' Or, He doesn't even let me finish...

I say, 'Yeah, but God, I'm a-'
'PERFECT,' He says, 'I can use that...' He looks at me, and He says, 'I can use you. I want to use you.'

Dan: 'But, I'm a-'
God: 'PERFECT. You're exactly what I want for this.'

...And then I realize that God has seen a situation and said, 'Dan would be PERFECT for this...
I HAVE to have a Dan for this one!'"

That last sentence would probably make more sense with Dan's analogy of the different-guitars-for-different-musical-purposes behind it... but you can download the podcast if you want the whole message.

For now, I just have a song that I thought was PERFECT for this blog...
It came onto my iPod at the gym this morning... my iPod nano, which isn't as "upgraded" as my iPod touch...probably not as elegant or complex or sleek-looking... it's not a 'clean' black--it's a tarnished green... and it's pretty beat up from years of being banged up against random trees and treadmills...but it's perfect for my morning jogs, and I wouldn't use any other...

Maybe it (if "its" could ask...) doesn't know "Why?" I'm using it rather than my iPod touch.... but I do.


I AM by Ginny Owens

No Lord, he said, you've got the wrong guy.
Simple conversation gets me tongue-tied.
And you're telling me to speak with a maniac king.
Or could it be I've lost my mind?
And besides, I am weak, don't you want someone strong,
To lead them out of Egypt when they've been there so long?
And anyway, they wont believe You ever spoke to me.
That's not your problem, God replied.
And the rest is history.

There's a bigger picture you can't see.
You don't have to change the world, just trust in me.
'Cause I am your creator, I am working out my plan,
And through you I will show them, I Am.

Now Lord, are you sure? He's just a shepherd boy,
Too small for battle gear with a giant to destroy.
What on earth can he do with five stones and a sling?
That's not your problem, God replied.
'Cause I can do anything.

There's a bigger picture you can't see.
You don't have to change the world, just trust in me.
'Cause I am your creator, I am working out my plan,
And through you, I will show them,
I Am the first, I Am the last,
I Am the present and the past,
I Am tomorrow and today,
I Am the only way.

Great Lord, she said, I'm just a simple girl.
You say that I will bring your son into the world.
How can I understand this thing You're gonna do?
That's not your problem, God replied.

'Cause, there's a bigger picture,
And you don't have to change the world.
I'm your creator, I am working out my plan.
And through you, I will show them,
There's a bigger picture, you can't see.
You don't have to change the world, just trust in me.
I'm your creator, I am working out my plan,
And through you, I will show them, I Am


Moses, David, and Mary the mother of Jesus are three Bible characters that I have always been inspired by...
They weren't perfect. They had regrets. They were afraid and crawled to Him, honest about it. But, eventually, they were willing and didn't ask "Why?" as much anymore--though if they looked back and reflected, I'm sure certain things would have suddenly become clear...

I'm sure they could see some incredible answers to that question in their stories. What encouraging things those would be to look back and see. We get see those things, now, and we realize that God is a MASTER story-teller...

And He is STILL using their stories today...