Bethany Dillon once asked me what my name meant, and I was too embarrassed to tell her the "little bird" part. She seemed to like my name, and I didn't want her to change her mind... I told her "I think it means something like, 'The Lord is gracious'..." (which is true! One of the 17th-pagers said so). She smiled and said that she liked it. Sweet. I was right.
I think I smiled back... or I peed my pants... I can't remember...
Anyway, after a couple more years of similar stories (ones with me claiming the "spiritual meanings," not ones with Bethany Dillon), I began finding an actual appreciation of the "little bird" meaning... I started seeing pictures of birds everywhere, and they were a lot prettier than I remember (or at least a lot less scary...fewer crows). There were a lot that showed birds being released from cages, free to fly in the open air once more. Some of them showed birds simply resting on branches, singing what I imagined to be the most pleasant of songs (...they weren't steller-jays...or else I probably would have imagined fire alarms). They were "little" birds, and I started to like seeing them around. Four women from Bethel came up to me at the Sundial bridge one day and gave me a picture of a sunrise they had drawn for me... It had birds flying in it. "The Lord's favor is so heavy on you.. and you are going to be like these birds soon... flying so high and free in the sunrise." I contemplated telling them my name and what it meant, but I didn't. All I said back was, "Thank you. I really do hope so..."
They didn't know my name...
but God did.
I flirted with the idea of someday just coming out and saying to my friends that hate birds, "My name means 'little bird'!"--and to my friends with really cool name-meanings, "Well my name means 'little bird'..." And this idea became a million times more attractive when someone finally said to me, "You know you're name also means 'white wave'?"
Ok. So "Little bird" it is...
It's been a few months since that initial acceptance... I haven't thought about it at all since then.
But on Friday, my iPod's "shuffle" settings did it yet again...
FLY by Jason Upton
Going out to new atmospheres
Going out to new places
Going out to new atmospheres
You gotta to have new ears,
Gotta have new ears to hear...
Heavenly places, heavenly, heavenly places...
New revelation.
What are doing? (singing to lost soul)
Where are you going? (singing to lost soul)
God is going to give you wings...
Some of you have been fighting for a very long time
Some of you have been fighting that ground warfare for a very
long time...
Sticking out your fists and fighting...
God wants to take you to new places,
New revelation,
New perspective,
An arial view...
I declare over you, God has given you the air...
So fly, it's time to open up your wings,
to shake off the things that hold you down,
It's time to spread out your wings and fly.
Do you see what I see?
Do you hear what I hear?
Do you know what I know?
Do you want what I want?
I want you to fly
Fly...
(from God)
I have given you wings
I have set you free from the things that held you
I have given you wings
I have set you free, so come to me and
Fly...
Like a bird in the air, you have escaped the snare
Like a bird in the air, you have escaped the snare
Like a bird in the air, you have escaped the snare of the enemy
You have been set free
You have been set free
Nothing, nothing, nothing, no nothing could ever hold you.
Nothing can stop you now-
because you are....
Free.
Fly.
I'll admit, I started to cry on the treadmill. I'm glad no one was around to ask if I tore something. But if they had... I would have told them, "Guess it just kinda hit me that God knows my name..."
I happen to care now that my name means "little bird," because God always has. And He is remaining faithful to the promises that He's apparently had in mind since before I was born...
What does your name mean? He knows your name, too!
6 comments:
I happen to LOVE birds. And my name doesn't have a cool meaning at all. I would actually prefer if my name DID mean "little bird"... have you ever watched a bird float in a strong breeze? It's amazingly peaceful and full of grace... kind of like YOU my friend. Birds hold all kinds of secret talents and tricky moves... kind of like YOU. I think you're amazing Jenna. You make me happy whenever I'm around you, and I'm so honored and blessed to be part of the same family as you :)
Jenna, you are awesome. Your voice, your words, they draw me in. You are going to change lives because you will continue to develop the courage to speak into peoples lives at any given moment. Thought I would say that.
p.s. Ian means, "God is gracious." heheh...sounds familiar
I love it Jenna! And I wouldn't change it for anything! It fits you, I'll have to save why I say that fir when we hang, or an actual note. But I will say this, there is such a peace, gentleness, love and comfort in that name. All things that I have come to know in you over the years.
As always, you're flipin awesome, more than you will ever know or ever admit.... LOVE YOU!
Ps. I still fight with my name; Victory of the people... seriously too big a name for me.
Really looking forward to catching up this week!
Mmm...that could quite possibly be my favorite blog that you've written...
I love you, Little Bird, and I hope that you will fly....high and free. :)
PS: My name means "Ruler of the Elves". Needless to say, I don't boast about that one...:P
I think God has a special place in his heart for little birds. No joke! The Holy Spirit manifests at times as a dove (little bird). Isn't is interesting that he would come as a dove? Why doesn't he come as an eagle or an albatross both huge powerful birds or what the heck a pteradactyl. Nope he as chosen a little bird. God has a special place in his heart for small birds. So does my cat! Stay away from him. Erica
ummm...hi. That was beautiful. :) and so are you. and I echo what Ian said. Except for what his name means...cuz mine means God is my Judge....hmm. :)
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