Making us mountains...

Things that happen to grow and shape us are usually more unwelcome than we thought they would be. It's subtle. But, whoever wants to grow when they've found out how hard it actually is to feel the chisel and fire? Maybe we're being made stronger for something that will soon require great strength. Maybe we're being made more humble for something that will soon require us to seek His affirmation above others. Maybe we're being made mountains of faith for what His calling of us demands we learn to stand firm through...

A good friend sat on the bed curled up against the wall and my shoulder one night after realizing this very thing. And, while crying and hurting and bargaining for any other kind of realization than this one, she said something that struck me and hasn't stopped resonating since.

"I just never guessed it would look like this..."

I don't think any of us ever guess it will look like "this..." We think it will be clear as day--we think it will be the most intense, completely life-altering challenge that God will place before us...right in front of our eyes...our giant Goliath. And when one choice seems "so EASY" while the other seems "so SCARY AND LETHAL" we will know that, clearly, it is the hard one we must choose--the luminous way, calling for our immense courage and sacrifice all wrapped up in martyrdom and a radical going-against-the-flow kind of theme song. And we think it may require more physical signs of devotion on our part...like giving all our shoes away, or conquering our blatantly "wrong" addiction, or flying across the globe to a place that will never really feel like home...

But we say we'd do those things. We could if we had to...and if God gave us the miraculous strength it would take. We say we'd do anything, really... Anything really...BIG. What other Christian could judge if it was something really BIG? What fellow Christian mocks the man that "lays down his life for another"? Unless, of course, that laying down of his life isn't as literal as we always pictured...

My friend wasn't sacrificing shoes or drugs or the country she calls home. She wasn't literally sacrificing her life for anyone else's either. But she was sacrificing something just as comfortable. She was deciding to choose something that costs...

Jesus is calling her to follow Him in this--He has a rock for her to climb. It may not look the same as the jagged cliffs she pictured. But it is a way into the heart of God nonetheless. And sometimes it's harder to welcome the things that happen to shape us, to expose us, to squeeze us enough for that needle's eye...than it is to walk away with a grieved spirit...

But our spirits would surely be grieved if they had denied the molding of God's hand.

And while she didn't think following Jesus would look like...this...I don't usually either. Maybe that's why what she said is still resonating. Because, in that moment, I think I really caught a glimpse of the sweetest thing...

...Someone brave enough to let God begin making her a mountain.

[And this song by Kristene Mueller makes me think of her]...


TRUST

It's the sweetest thing,
To trust you...
Just to know You've got everything under control.

It's the sweetest thing,
To trust you...
Just to know You've got everything.

You are making me a mountain, making me a mountain,
That cannot be shaken.
You are making me a mountain, making me a mountain,
That cannot be moved.

High up, on a rock, lookin' out at the horizon...
Watchin' as the storm rolls in, wonderin' if my heart will survive it...
And as the waves crash all around me,
And I can't remember what it feels like to be free...

I know You're making me a mountain, making me a mountain,
That cannot be shaken.
You are making me a mountain, making me a mountain,
That cannot be moved.

You say,
"I've got you, my baby, oh I've got you.
It's quite the mess you're in, but it's nothin' love can't fix...
...So sit here upon my shoulders,
And watch as it all unwinds."

You are making me a mountain, making me a mountain,
That cannot be shaken.
I know You're making me a mountain, making me a mountain,
That cannot be moved.
I know You're making me a mountain, making me a mountain,
That cannot be shaken.
You are making me a mountain, making me a mountain,
That cannot be moved.


Those things that happen to grow and shape us are usually more unwelcome than we thought they would be. Sometimes, they're subtle. But when they don't look like we guessed they would...when those unexpectedly unwelcome things happen...hopefully we won't walk away with our spirits grieved. Hopefully, we can remember that He's making us mountains...