Friday, April 10, 2009 | By: Jenna

I am richly blessed


I'm addressing grad invitations, and it's killing me! One minute, I'm thinking "Gosh, I'm so excited...I can't believe I made it through all four years...." and the next minute, I'm nostalgic: "WHYYYYYYY do I have to grow uuuuuuuup????" *whiny crying face*

But I'm not ashamed of this. A part of me is a little proud even...
...not because I've had the best grades the whole time.
...not because I'm only person in the world to ever complete undergrad school.
...and (definitely) not because I feel ready.

Nah... I think a part of me is a little proud because a part of me is thinking about some of the people that might be a little proud of me. Because I've had a lot of great teachers, and I've had a lot of great friends... and I've had a lot of mentors and encouragers and belivers-in-me over the years... but I've never really known how to thank them appropriately.

Maybe I always secretly hoped I'd be rich by now--so I could buy them all cars or ponies (depending on their environmental concerns)... or, yes, even famous--so I could publicly give honor where honor is due.

I don't know if I'll ever get to do those things, but I do hope they are proud of me...

I hope my grandpa knows that I want to be "a great woman of a granddaughter" for him.
I hope my father knows that I'm glad to have inherited his learner's mind...and his love for humor.
I hope my sisters know that I always found comfort in thoughts of them, no matter how far away from home I was.
I hope my mom knows that she is constantly helping me "make it"--that I still kind of need her...
I hope my step-dad knows that I don't know where I'd be without his faithful commitment and grace.

I hope my high school history teacher remembers how she always gave me space to breathe.
I hope my psychology teacher smiles when she remembers how EVERYTHING fascinated me.
I hope my mentors know that I don't take their investments lightly... I hope they know they changed my life.


I hope my best friends know I couldn't have survived school-combined-with-life without them.
I hope the ones younger than me find out someday that, really, they taught me how to grow, more than the other way around.
I hope my professors know how grateful I am for the way they've ruined my assumptions, exposed my tiny worldview, and given me back the pieces with Christ-seeking tools of reconstruction.
I hope my pastors know that I'm thankful they keep pointing me to Jesus.


I hope all these people (and more) know that whatever life they've spoken to me or love they've shown me has not been in vain. I'm not rich or famous by the world's standards...so I can't give them what the worldly part of me wishes it could...
But I am richly blessed by their influences and famously thankful to them wherever I go.

And maybe that's what graduation is really about...
...not showing that I had the best grades the whole time.
...not showing that "I, too" have completed undergrad school.
...and (oh my gosh-DEFINITELY) not showing that "Yeah! I feel ready for the world now!"

No...I've had good grades before, I've completed some things here and there, and I've experienced my fair share of the world...which, I'm convinced I'm not supposed to feel ready for anyway.

Maybe graduation is really more about those people that I think might be a little proud of me. Maybe it's about them seeing me at this point in my life and thinking, "Gosh, I'm so excited...I can't believe she made it through all four years!" Although, they probably can believe it... they probably believe it better than me...

Because they are the ones that would have always believed it for me, regardless of anything shown at my graduation.




I am richly blessed by them...and very famously thankful...


4 comments:

Danae said...

*sigh*....SO SO SO good. :) I love you deary.

Wendy said...

So very proud of you indeed. I do not have words for how much you bless my heart. Love you, Jenna Barney. I hope you are getting good rest at home. See you on Tuesday :)

Aubrey Raper said...

Oh Jenna...I love you and your little heart. I'm glad you can admit that people believe it...that's hard a lot of times. :j
I'm proud of you.

You'll see one day. :)

Kandice said...

cried.
proud indeed.
think that you're great.
think that the God that desingned you is extra great! :)